Kanakalackin Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 A recent study from The Onion has recently revealed that "Legos may not be fit for human consumption after all". Here is a direct quote from the article: "A recent study involving 50 test subjects has shown that the colorful lego blocks are not fit for human consumption. Upon swallowing a standard 2x2 yellow lego brick, 3 in 5 subjects choked and needed to be driven to the ER for immediate treatment. The other 2 in 5 subjects disclosed that they experienced 'mild to extreme discomfort' while swallowing and post-swallowing. 1 in 2 of the remaining subjects later had to have stomach surgery to remove the plastic brick. One subject was found to have swallowed multiple bricks in his life, and was going through withdrawal after his parents sold his collection of legos. Quotes from the test subjects can be viewed at the end of this article." Here are the statistics for the test: Injury Rates From Legos Pain in the throat/digestive tract: 90%Immediate Death: 2%Delayed death: 12%Foot injuries: 100%Knee injuries: 100% Why legos are swallowed Confusion for candy: 67%Tastes good: 30%Texture: 20%Childhood habits: 100% Here is the closing statement: "After the results for this test were received and compiled, we at The Onion have declared Legos 'unfit for human consumption'. We have emailed the LEGO company (which manufactures the legos), asking for a product recall due to choking hazards. Next week we will experiment on Dogs and Cats." Here are some of the quotes from the subjects: "At first I felt a scrape along my throat and then it stopped. When I went home, my stomach started aching and I developed a rash along my legs and groin. 0/8 would not do again." -- A. Kekler "I was thrilled when i learned I was doing an experiment with legos. My parents sold my collection recently, and I'm going through withdrawal. I love swallowing the little plastic candies." --B. Tamey "I'm going to die." -- E. Tuck 17 Quote I have an Instagram page where you can see these pictures and more like them! Just click HERE! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prowl Nightwolf Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Ok are you serious or is this one of those April Fools type deals? I mean really? I understand the whole "toddlers swallow the bricks due to habits of putting small items into their mouth." deal. But how much money do you have to be paid to know this is a bad idea? What moron would think plastic of any kind is edible? 1 Quote "A stranger will always be a stranger unless you give them a chance." || <- My Pokémon | BZPRPG Characters: Po-Matoran Doseki & Nui-Jaga Scorpio; Ga-Matoran Orca Matoran und Panzer: Doseki & Glitch | Marvel RP PC | Mata Nui Monopoly: Come... Own a piece of the legend! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayliffe Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 "Legos may not be fit for human consumption after all" 12 Quote "In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move." - Douglas Adams Twitter Flickr Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tea-rex Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 I form one enjoy a good bowl of Lego's in the morning. 6 Quote BZPRPG profiles / Corpus Rahkshi Profiles / Matoran un Panzar profiles Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Makuta Luroka Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 I am just going to enumerate this once: The Onion is a satirical site, and any articles posted to that site is intended to be humerous, and may or may not reflect reality. That said, that you should not try to eat LEGO is quite sensible, and the article does raise a point. 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evil_jaga_genius Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 The next thing you know this'll be the subject of some top-secret government research project... 1 Quote Avatar by Nicholas Anderson (NickonAquaMagna)My blog: The Jaga's Nest Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
masterchirox580 Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 I was wondering why I needed stomach surgery so often. 5 Quote It's time to move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nidhiki of the Shadows Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 This article is making me hungry for some Legos... -NotS 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zeb Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Well it's a good thing I don't eat Legos. 2 Quote The artist formerly known as ŜﮞρЄЯ־GЄNіﮞŜ־CЯЄ▲Ŧ۞Я BBC#69 Entry: Roodaka - Master of Manipulation BFTGM entries: Zigben · Ventox · Deflecto “Hail Denmark.” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kopekemaster Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Hmm...I feel like most of these people made the mistake of eating them raw. Have you ever tried eating a raw pufferfish? Bad idea.Personally, I always cook mine before eating, sometimes broiling them after tossing them in olive oil, and sometimes go for a saute with garlic and stuff. Pretty tasty if they're prepared correctly. 9 Quote My Writing Blog (more writing coming soon!) My Bionicle/LEGO Blog (defunct) Hyfudiar on Spotify (noise/drone/experimental music) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stan McStudz Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 LEGO-OsMy cereal of choice. Especially since they aren't round, but square. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IcarusBen Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Wait... Lego is unfit for eating. Oh no... Um... I'll be offline for a few days while I get stomach surgery. BRB. 2 Quote LEGO Republic:The ValkyrieThe "Christmas Brick" My BZPRPG Profiles Now a proud member of The Kanohi Force Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McNugget Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 My Cats seem fine after they ate half of one of my Ribbed tubes.This is not an April Fools. I'm Serious. So its time to Try myself. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Hip Historian Iaredios Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Confusion for candy: 67%That had me rolling! Also, that guy missing his lego sets.... 1 Quote A RUDE AWAKENING - A Spherus Magna redo | Tzais-Kuluu | Pushing Back The Tide | Last Words | Black Coronation | Blue Man Bound | Visions of Thasos ن We are all but grey specks in a dark complex before a single white light Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manducus Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 (edited) I remember one of my grandmother's dogs ate one of my big Lego wheels. Wonder how he was feeling after consuming it. Edited April 3, 2015 by Lord Commander Manducus 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toa Smoke Monster Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 I remember one of my grandmother's gods ate one of my big Lego wheels. Wonder how he was feeling after consuming it.Your grandmother owns gods?! (Sorry, couldn't help myself. I assume you meant to say dogs.) Anyways, I've never eaten a Lego piece before. Nor do I plan to. But the article does remind me of Eggo Waffles for some reason.... 6 Quote Everyone is one choice away from being the bad guy in another person's story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McNugget Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 Wait, if this is an April fools joke... Does that mean Lego's ARE fit for human Consumption?!? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheSkeletonMan939 Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 Laugh all you want, but one day Lego may very well have to put "Lego bricks not fit for consumption" on the bottom of their ads, regardless of how strangely obvious it is. That's pretty much what car ads have to do now. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ballom Nom Nom Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 I remember one of my grandmother's gods ate one of my big Lego wheels. Wonder how he was feeling after consuming it.I presume a deity would not be overly inconvenienced by consumption of plastic. However, I'm curious as to why one would descend to this mortal plane for such a purpose. ~B~ 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Makuta Luroka Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 I remember one of my grandmother's gods ate one of my big Lego wheels. Wonder how he was feeling after consuming it.I presume a deity would not be overly inconvenienced by consumption of plastic. However, I'm curious as to why one would descend to this mortal plane for such a purpose. ~B~To test his/her mettle against a LEGO brick? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petewa Posted April 3, 2015 Share Posted April 3, 2015 I have no idea whether or not this was supposed to be in the comedy section, the quotes are making me think it should be, either way, this is the best thing I've ever read, it's glorious, even the comments on this thing are great, I remember one of my grandmother's gods ate one of my big Lego wheels. Wonder how he was feeling after consuming it.Your grandmother owns gods?! (Sorry, couldn't help myself. I assume you meant to say dogs.) Anyways, I've never eaten a Lego piece before. Nor do I plan to. But the article does remind me of Eggo Waffles for some reason.... It reminds you of waffles because.......Lego my Eggos, Quote Mataru Nui, an Interactive Adventure Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manducus Posted April 3, 2015 Share Posted April 3, 2015 To test his/her mettle against a LEGO brick? I presume a deity would not be overly inconvenienced by consumption of plastic. However, I'm curious as to why one would descend to this mortal plane for such a purpose. ~B~ Your grandmother owns gods?! (Sorry, couldn't help myself. I assume you meant to say dogs.) Anyways, I've never eaten a Lego piece before. Nor do I plan to. But the article does remind me of Eggo Waffles for some reason.... I remember one of my grandmother's dogs ate one of my big Lego wheels. Wonder how he was feeling after consuming it. You all didn't see anything Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ineverlikedfelt Posted April 3, 2015 Share Posted April 3, 2015 And before you know it, Legos unfit for stepping on. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kopekemaster Posted April 4, 2015 Share Posted April 4, 2015 Honestly, in my various explorations of LEGO cuisine, I have yet to answer one question pertaining them; how does toast?I'll probably put it to the test and report back here in a little bit. 3 Quote My Writing Blog (more writing coming soon!) My Bionicle/LEGO Blog (defunct) Hyfudiar on Spotify (noise/drone/experimental music) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LegoSWfan Posted April 5, 2015 Share Posted April 5, 2015 "Legos may not be fit for human consumption after all" I always call them legos, I don't stick to official lexicon, I use my own personal terms. Now, it dosnt take a college degree to know that legos arnt food. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cwog Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 I am just going to enumerate this once: The Onion is a satirical site, and any articles posted to that site is intended to be humerous, and may or may not reflect reality. That said, that you should not try to eat LEGO is quite sensible, and the article does raise a point.It doesn't matter that it was posted on April 1st. The Onion is always fake. This isn't a real study, but was rather created by some satire writers giggling at their desks. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Makuta Luroka Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 I am just going to enumerate this once: The Onion is a satirical site, and any articles posted to that site is intended to be humerous, and may or may not reflect reality. That said, that you should not try to eat LEGO is quite sensible, and the article does raise a point.It doesn't matter that it was posted on April 1st. The Onion is always fake. This isn't a real study, but was rather created by some satire writers giggling at their desks. That is what I said. Did you mean to quote a different post? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cwog Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 I am just going to enumerate this once: The Onion is a satirical site, and any articles posted to that site is intended to be humerous, and may or may not reflect reality. That said, that you should not try to eat LEGO is quite sensible, and the article does raise a point.It doesn't matter that it was posted on April 1st. The Onion is always fake. This isn't a real study, but was rather created by some satire writers giggling at their desks. That is what I said. Did you mean to quote a different post? No, I was just trying to emphasize what you said, because I say some people thinking that it was just because it was on April 1st, and it didn't seem like a lot of people were paying attention to what you said. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Makuta Luroka Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 I am just going to enumerate this once: The Onion is a satirical site, and any articles posted to that site is intended to be humerous, and may or may not reflect reality. That said, that you should not try to eat LEGO is quite sensible, and the article does raise a point.It doesn't matter that it was posted on April 1st. The Onion is always fake. This isn't a real study, but was rather created by some satire writers giggling at their desks. That is what I said. Did you mean to quote a different post? No, I was just trying to emphasize what you said, because I say some people thinking that it was just because it was on April 1st, and it didn't seem like a lot of people were paying attention to what you said. Ah. Alright. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seaborgium Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 Personally, I always cook mine before eating, sometimes broiling them after tossing them in olive oil, and sometimes go for a saute with garlic and stuff. Pretty tasty if they're prepared correctly.I've always wanted to try that with those Shakespeare books from school. The paper's thin enough that it could actually be really good. Better than eating a plurality of Lego. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xan Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 Hah, well none of you could even try to eat Nuparu Inika's mask piece. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seaborgium Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 Hah, well none of you could even try to eat Nuparu Inika's mask piece. I would, if I could find it. I used to eat Lego tires in my younger days, so Nuparu's mask isn't that much of stretch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IcarusBen Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 You people are weird... 1 Quote LEGO Republic:The ValkyrieThe "Christmas Brick" My BZPRPG Profiles Now a proud member of The Kanohi Force Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghidora131 Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 IcarusBen, might I remind you you're on BZPower; what did you expect? Anyway, Considering the title had an indication of bad grammar, it seemed little effort was put into it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IcarusBen Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 I expect people not to eat their Lego. I do ask, where's the bad grammar in the title? Quote LEGO Republic:The ValkyrieThe "Christmas Brick" My BZPRPG Profiles Now a proud member of The Kanohi Force Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LegoSWfan Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 What bad grammar? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cwog Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 "Legos" was the bad grammar, I'm pretty sure. The plural of LEGO is LEGO. Furthermore, LEGO is not a noun. It is an adjective, like "LEGO bricks" or "LEGO Bionicle". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LegoSWfan Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 I call them legos, is this going to be a problem for you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dotcom Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 ...Yeah, I'm as pedantic as the next guy when it comes to Lego, but to expect others, especially non-fans, to not use "Legos" is pretty silly. Calling that poor grammar is even more so. Also, saying that Lego is exclusively an adjective is also just. Silly. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fishers64 Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 LEGO is a corporate entity located in Billund, Denmark. Last I checked there is only one. Quote Hero Factory RPG | Bionicle Mafia XXIX: Storyline & Theories Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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